People are staring at me, would like to hear me. And I can’t get a word out of my mouth. Do I really want that? Or ought I search for an alternative? Am I good enough? Am I able do succeed? This exam will decide my future! I can’t fail, am not ALLOWED to fail.
Written exams are OK. If I have studied enough, I can just write down the answers, don’t have to look into anyone’s eyes and can go, whenever I am finished. Or can skip a question, when I don’t have a clue – and nobody notices.
But oral exams, two to three people are looking at me, like to calm me down, get all the knowledge out of my mouth. That’s how it feels like for me. You can see the immediate reaction to the answer in their faces, just a few people I can’t read. You get insecure, start stuttering, drink a sip of water to calm down. It’s all right again and after 20min the exam is over.
I am glad, that the only oral exam this semester is Spanish. I already had a one-to-one lesson with this teacher, the exam will be good. And I know Spanish. But would it be an examination for a certificate, I would scream, run in circles and would get crazy – inside of course. Outside I am calm.